Tour Advice From Someone Who Kinda Knows
My bandmates and I just got back from a two-week tour of the Midwest and East Coast, and because we’re still doing most everything DIY (except for some help from our booking agent, who is fantastic), it required months of saving up, planning and making Excel spreadsheets. We went through every single detail over and over and still came out $500 over budget in the end. But even when you’re playing to 15 people on a Monday night in a city where you’ve never played before (Cincinnati, in our case), there’s nothing more fun than touring. That said, if we didn’t like our songs, hadn’t practiced a ton and weren’t totally prepared, it wouldn’t have been nearly as enjoyable; even when you’re well-rehearsed, something always goes wrong.
Here are a few things I learned on the road that may help you musicians out there who are planning on touring soon:
1. You must read Tour:Smart: And Break the Band by Martin Atkins.
2. A Rand McNally 2009 Road Atlas Large Scale map book in combination with a PDA running Google Maps is very helpful. But we still got lost…a lot. It’s best to bite the bullet and buy or rent a GPS system that can tell you which way southwest is on whichever street, rather than having to guess. Either that, or add a compass to the mix.
3. Be polite and introduce yourself to every band you meet on the road (more of this in the Editor’s Note in the Dec. 2008 issue of Remix).
4. If you are the band treasurer, lie to your bandmates about how much you have in the band bank account. If they don’t think the band fund is flush, they won’t be begging for the band to pay for Jameson shots.
5. Don’t use any band money to pay for alcohol.
6. Don’t drink any alcohol before you play a show. I know this can be hard, but we made that rule about halfway into the tour, and it made a world of difference. You already know that it’s bad idea to drink and drive because your reaction time is much slower when you drink and then get behind the wheel. The same goes for playing an instrument. Forget hitting all your cues if you’ve had ten beers before you hit the stage. If you’re a complete virtuoso who has never missed a note in your life, then you may have one beer before you play. If you’re pretty consistent as a musician, then bring your first beer of the night onstage with you. Me, I just drink water until the show is done. I drink beer and then I end up belching into the microphone, which is not pretty. Plus, I forget lyrics and biff guitar chords. No can do.
7. Remember to have fun. Things can go wrong on the road, and they will. If you stay calm and remember that you’re having fun, it’ll be easier to solve problems (like your van dying halfway between Minneapolis and Chicago).
8. Read all the parking signs, and then read them again. And if you buy a ticket to park in a lot, especially to park your RV in overnight, make sure you know when the ticket expires. In Chicago, they’ll also nail you for parking in “multiple spots” because your stupid RV sticks out, even though no one is parked around you.
9. If in an RV, stay at campsites wherever possible, and try to book in advance. Campsites are great ’cause you can hook up the RV to electrical outlets and a water line, dump waste into a special hole in the ground (gross) and take a real shower. If you’re in a van and don’t have a friend’s house to stay at, you can always find a cheap motel (or what I lovingly call The Crime Scene Inn). But someone should probably sleep in the van every night, unless you’re a girl. That’s the benefit of being the one girl in a band full of smelly dudes.
10. If you’re RVing it, you can buy pots and pans and cooking utensils at thrift stores and then give them away at the end of your route. Cooking on the road saves a lot of money.
11. If you see an animal in the middle of the road, and you’re driving in a giant RV, I’m afraid you have to hit it. It makes me sick to my stomach to say this (I refuse to kill bugs, let alone animals). But you can’t swerve in a 30-foot RV, and you probably can’t in a 12-passenger van, either.
12. Play your best show at every show, even when you’re just playing to the other bands, the bartender and the sound guy. The bar owner might buy a CD and ask you to come back on a more popular night (like a Wednesday as opposed to a Monday), and the other band you’re playing with may just break out, become superfamous and take you on tour with them.
13. Bring replacement cables and adapters, and prepare to go to a music store at least twice in a two-week trip (and not for fun).
14. If you’re in Kentucky, do try moonshine, but make sure the guy giving it to you isn’t blind because it may have been the moonshine that made him that way.
15. Do not give people an opportunity to steal your gear. Do not leave it in sight and unattended.
16. Take naps whenever you can. It’s easy to get sick on the road. You need to sleep to keep the flu/colds at bay.
Anyone else have some good touring advice you want to share? Feel free to comment….








